Oh, I dont think they are marriage matterial-or even that they should be together. How many times have we found ourselves in a relationship where we're just not on the same page as our boyfriend, despite how much we love each other and want things to work out? It's a touchy subject! But isnt the definition of love of my life about THE person that I will love the most in my entire life? Rough, but he actually may be holding onto that terrible memory so that he can hold onto her in some way. If her mental health is THAT bad, she needs to be around family or maybe inpatient. Yes, of course, a couple needs to each see their friends. It's a game-changer for the relationship because this proves that he doesn't want things to be equal, and we really can't do anything when someone thinks that way. It doesn't sound like much fun. March 14, 2014, 1:23 pm. And if he's just started doing this, then he might be trying to break up with us but isn't sure how to do it. We don't know why bringing it up would ever seem like a good idea. If your boyfriend does happen to share these details that nobody asked to hear, it could be a sign that he's reminiscing on those times and comparing them to what you do together now. If he brings up his ex in comparison to the things you like or don't like to do/wear/eat, that means that for some reason or another, his ex is on his mind while he's with you. If we want to get married and our partner doesn't, then that's a really big deal and something that we definitely need to deal with and discuss. He's domineering, and/or jealous, controlling and self-centered. As I was reading this comment the post got deleted. But if our boyfriend does something that we don't agree with or something that he knew we wouldn't be happy about, that's a totally different story. If someone isn't sure, then that's fine -- that just means that we've been set free and we can find the right guy who won't hesitate to say that he loves us. Her family is a lot of the reason for her trauma and mental health issues. By: Maureen Scurfield Posted: 2:00 AM CST Saturday, Jan. 14, 2023. Youre not milling on for months feeling the relationship slowly decline because you have just grown apart-youre falling apart because of the biggest breach of trustthats hard. How to Make a Guy Realize He's Losing You May 1, 2018By Kate To say relationships are tough to handle at times is an understatement, particularly if you are with someone, who's not quite ready to make changes for you. Busy schedule? If she wants to keep the exes around, she won't become my girlfriend in the first place. This is just not the way that healthy and happy relationships go. superultralost 1413 S x 3 1h48m. That's not what real love or true commitment is. can you get yourself off? He needs to spine up. My bf and I have disabilities/mental issues and this is atrocious to both of us. It should go without saying that secrets shared between partners are sensitive information, and don't deserve to be shared with the world no matter how badly a relationship ends. Even if he's no longer in love with her, it's possible that he still has some residual feelings for her. But can we really change a guy, especially someone who doesn't believe in being in a committed relationship? The fuckboy boyfriend comes with a lifelong warranty. They are most likely sleeping together or something. I shouldve told him much sooner, but I did tell him a few weeks ago. Dont we always say that when someone tells you who they are believe them? Really ?! My boyfriend and his "ex" wife I met him on vacation in June. In that same vein, you may be treading easy because this is the mother of his kids. 43. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Boring stuff. LW3: WWS how do you know this is forever if youre sexually incompatible? Let's leave our exes in the past. Oooh, I hadnt thought of that. If he's actually someone worth dating, he probably also dates people worth dating (like you!). If a boyfriend brings up his exes without being prompted and offers any kind of detail that you didn't ask for, there's probably something to learn from what he says. It admittedly took me awhile to get past it, but by the time I was in my next relationship, I no longer felt like Id been hurt by the love of my life. How Did You Decide Whether to Have Another Baby? Seriously? What a guy says about his exes can reveal all of the above. We wouldn't blame you for still sleeping in an ex's sweatshirt from time to time, or even from keeping a little box of memories tucked away. I promised that I would keep your plans for next year confidential. If you have told him and he just doesnt care then WWS about that. We should never something like this from our boyfriend. This is inevitable at the very beginning of our relationship. But we have to be polite and diplomatic about it. Seems very unhealthy and your bf is acting like a doormat. I think there is something to be said for cheating exs too-when a breakup happens because of a cheating partner its been my impression that often there is this little part of a person, concious or not, that is always blindsided by it. We were together for 14 months until august 15th, which was just after our 1 year anniversary. We're not going to do everything domestic and he shouldn't want or expect us to. A boyfriend will put his arm around you occasionally. That's a pretty dangerous road to go down. But he doesn't drop your hand when you go from the privacy of your home out into the streets. (and let me be clear here - I KNOW, personally, the impact they can have on someone) Walking around in her underwear?! And yet I still let him lick my face But its like getting a free facial; my skin never looked so good. This guy told you his ex was the love of his life. Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor. Wait to decide how you feel about them for yourself. Do you want another story? 20K 1.4K The best thing about being in a relationship is staying home on a regular basis and watching tons of TV. He's Affectionate in Public. If you dont find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. A BFF is right up there with family when it comes to where a person's loyalties lie. I put girlfriends in quotations, because I think they are mostly just girls he is banging, and he really doesnt have a real committed girlfriend. He's always going to rely on his mom and want her advice. You Were Too Busy Walking On Eggshells. Generally speaking, when I have a client that comes to me saying "My ex boyfriend is avoiding me and I have no idea what to do," it's often because some mistakes were made. They were forced to sign a lease for another year? But, like, I . 14. 34. nessy I\'m in a situation with an annoying ex and been losing trust in him.feels like the relationship is making me more unhappy than happy now. If he always makes these kinds of immature, mean comments, we should honestly take a long hard look at our relationship. You simply enter his name and location and it will pull up a ton of your ex boyfriend's information, and what he's been up to. LW2: Why are you willing to settle for dating someone youve seen only twice in 2-3 years? Tell him it's time to make your satisfaction a priority. You know, I know some people that get really mean when they fight and say things that are really hurtful and arent even true like I hate you. This guy could be one of those people in relationships who are mean fighters. In his eyes, there's no reason to take this next step, and by saying this statement, he's proving that he definitely doesn't want to. March 14, 2014, 11:20 am. We're adults and even if we have some cramps or headaches, we know how to deal and we know how to talk to our boyfriend properly. Basically, LW2, you have so many opportunities to meet someone before you, as LlamaPajamas said. February 1st, 2015 at 9:57 PM. Your ex boyfriend dated you so that tells us that he used to think very highly of you. The 2 crucial factors that determine whether him being in touch with his ex is something bad or if it's nothing to worry about. It doesn't mean that we have to dump them ASAP, but it might not mean that we're going to get the grand love story that we've been dreaming of. . Not for opinions, not for relationship advice, and not for preaching. Ive got bipolar, fibromyalgia, and trauma issues just like his ex. She loves coffee, barre classes and pop culture. IS a red flag. i mean really? This isn't just a red flag that your boyfriend might spill YOUR personal info if you break up, but it's a red flag that he might be a bad person overall. He is just a feeding source for this horrible person. is this even a realistic option? First of all, what the hell does that even mean? Yes he may be having a sex dream about his ex, but sometimes guys can get the most beautiful girl- inside and out and not realise it/still want more. "If he's still talking about the bad things she did in the past, he's trying to remind himself that hes not still in love with her - because he is still in love with her.". If he's saying that she always did something that bothered him and he literally brings this up all the time, that's not great, either. Im going to go out on a limb and guess you two are in your 20s or 30s, which is way too young to be dwelling on the golden promise of days past, as if thats all you have going for you. . Bittergaymark She walks around in her underwear because of mental health issues. Simply the Worlds Most Interesting Travel Site. That's a pretty dangerous road to go down. We get that some people have 'a type.' LW1: He might not care about his ex anymore but he seems to be idealizing their relationship, which is impossible to compete with. It doesn't matter that he said you're "prettier on the inside." It's . In any case, Id walk. There could be a few things going on here and none of them are good. 19 "I Don't Believe In Marriage". Wendy, make her STOOOOPPP!!!! People always say that married couples should never bring up the d-word (aka "divorce") in arguments or even when one of them is supposedly joking because that can cause really big problems and hurt feelings. I know it can be hard, but in the end it will be good for you. because telling somebody that they dont please you in bed is about as maddeningly vague as you can get. Sure, it's possible that he's just nervous and will come around soon and he really does want to marry us but if we've been together for a long time, shouldn't he be sure about us and know how feels? Threatening to break up with someone is never a good idea. Nice hostess gift, eh? Maybe he thinks she was crazy just for not wanting to date him forever. Maybe he booked a vacation that is non-refundable and we can't take the time off work and he knew that but did it anyway. This made me extremely . Trauma is weird and manifests in different ways. Alexa: I'm currently living with my monogamous boyfriend of two years. By katxo, 10 years ago on Affairs. Its a huge pain in the ass but were both so glad that we broadened our geographic distance parameters on the dating website. Our boyfriend should never comment on our physical appearance. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. For what its worth, I dont think you sound bitter! NBC. should not be attached to a timeline of 8 YEARS. Dear ex, not a day goes by where I don't think about the way in which you hurt and betrayed me. What it means is that they are compatible with one another, just not as romantic partners. Doute, for her part, was vocal about her dislike for her ex-boyfriend's new relationship. It's not our job to convince someone that we care about them. According to Psychology Today, when people break up there is usually a "rejector" (the one who makes the decision to break up) and a "rejectee" (the one who would have stayed together if they could have). Because telling somebody that they my boyfriend said i'm just like his ex be together around in her underwear because mental! 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